Tuesday, April 22, 2014


I would like to paint this on my walls and on my arms.
Although honestly I'm just emotional enough lately
that a rough hour will make me feel like I'm failing everything :P
I feel so very behind on the moment.

Behind on blogging,
which is truly very important to me.
I'm still figuring out thoughts on Ireland and
I feel that I really need to finish that project before
moving on to sharing how much we're enjoying spring
among other quirky things that mark this season of our lives that I don't want to forget.

I'm behind on my home.
Which I actually think is such a lie.
Home is home.
No matter how clean, no matter how organized,
no matter how many clothes need to be washed/put away.
Home is always home.
But at the moment it feels like a monster of undone projects and guilt.

I'm behind on people.
People that I love,
 that I desire to call/write/meet with.
People I think of often and yet can't seem to find the necessary
moments to put the thoughts to words to put into the phone or a coffee date.

I'm behind on creativity.
I have no new thoughts.
Even old thoughts aren't coming out quite right.
Pictures are thoughts put into images for me
and at the moment they are not communicating well
and that is frustrating me.
Husband would tell me that means I need to communicate
more and try harder (a nice way of saying I need to practice more ;))
but instead I'm just frustrated with what I think should be there and what isn't.

I feel that this is a season of importance.
Of words needing to be said just so.
When everyone is looking at you,
THAT moment,
when it is the moment to say something so very very important
and you realize you have no words.
None at all.
Which everyone thinks is completely inappropriate,
but whether it is or it isn't it just IS.

I'll probably feel differently tomorrow.
Sheesh, I'll probably feel differently tonight once husband gets
home and tells me I forgot to eat dinner (:

But at this moment these words
needed to be put down,
if only to remind me that guilt is not truth
and these things will happen in time.

And to not have words
(contrary to THOSE people or the occasional person in my head)
at times is completely appropriate. 

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