Today I am grateful for a quiet peaceful home.

I am tired.

It was not a hard day necessarily, it was a delight.

But my muscles are tired from a sleepless night,

my emotions are rather taught from loving emotionally needy boys,

and my body is tired from the journey home that was

much more adventurous and much much longer that I thought it should have been.

I was so grateful to walk in the door to quietness,

to shower off the grime of the city without a timeframe,

and to scrub my body with lavender and feel my muscles slowly relax

without anyone saying my name or needing my attention.

Many days I have come home to be tortured by that same quietness.

It seemed to relish in harshly reminding me of what wasn't here.

No pitter patter of little feet.

No voices telling stories of the day.

No need for cuddles or my rapt attention.

Just quiet.

Always quiet.

I would turn on music and pick up the home

while biding time till Husband got home,

or I would go to the neighbors house to be bombarded

by hugs and questions by little friends and hear the adventures of their day.

But the quiet would be waiting when I came back.

I was so grateful for this home of ours.

I truly was.

Grateful for the way God has blessed us with such a peace filled home.

A place filled with little things that told the story of us,

a place of beauty and joy.

But some days the quietness was sort of personal torture chamber

with no end and I battled through it, fighting to remember

that God loves me with an everlasting love and this was and is His good towards me.

All while the quietness seemed to mock me and my pain.

And other days I would sit and miraculously enjoy the quietness

and the grace that God gave in those days in giving contentment and joy.

But today as I walked in and quietly thanked God for His mercy in giving me rest and quiet,

it stood in stark contrast with previous days and made me want to weep from joy.

For I know that days are coming when all my moments 

will be consumed by a little ninja and these quiet moments will be but a memory.

Not that there will not be quiet times,

I actually believe that it is very important to sit in quiet

and I look forward to teaching Little One this joyful discipline,

but I am also aware that it will be quite different (:

But I did not want to weep for joy that those days are gone,

but rather that those days were.

That God saw fit to painfully walk me through the quiet.

Through the peaceful quiet and the battlefield quiet

He loved me and brought me to know Him in the quiet

in a way that astounds and humbles me.

"Season by season,

I watch Him amazed,

in awe of the mystery

of His perfect ways"

~Sara Groves

I am loved with an everlasting love

that goes deeper than any man can understand and any words could ever tell.

And I am so so grateful.

Dairy Allergy: In Case You Were Curious

When we decided to try cutting out dairy from my/our diet

6 months ago we had no idea what we were in for.

We have learned SO much,

but other than mentioning "I'm having a reaction"

here or there I haven't really talked about it here.

So if you're curious,

here we go (:

So far we have found that I have a "reaction" to 

Milk

Butter

Cream

Whey

Caseinate

Any milk derivative

What a "reaction" entails for me has taken awhile for us to fully figure out.

We immediately noticed the intense arthritic pain that comes within

45 min - 3 hours of me consuming dairy,

but it took us awhile to pinpoint the length and other particulars of my reactions.

As I mentioned, the first thing that happens after I have any dairy

is the pain. Swiftly and intensely it comes and stays that way for about a week.

Pain deep in my muscles and spine from where my skull meets my spine

to where my spine and hip bones meet together. 

After that first week it lessens a bit, but the pain as a whole lasts about a month.

We order Thai about 3 times this week.

The second week of a reaction Josh describes as my "bite everyone's head off" week

and he's pretty right on, sadly.

I am extremely on edge, shaky, have a very hard time thinking,

sleep very very little, and have crazy wild emotional/hormonal swings.

We order Thai once or twice this week as I'm really not that hungry

and husband's busy hiding from my unpredictable wrath.

The third week is when the depression comes in.

I was reluctant to acknowledge this until recently, I felt silly and trite 

admitting that depression was part of my struggle with dairy allergies.

But it is a very real and hard part of the reaction.

There is a dark sadness that settles into my thoughts and daily tasks

that is a moment by moment battle not to submit to.

I could sleep all day,

I hurt all over every moment,

I desire to crawl into a hole and hide,

and generally desire to avoid all people.

Even husband.

Its horrible.

We order Thai every night this week.

The 4th/5th week I get sick.

It varies as to what specific illness I get,

but I do get sick and usually pretty sick at that.

I think my immune system just gets so beat up

that it throws it hands up in disgust and lets

 the first virus I meet come in and stay for awhile.

This week its a raging cold/cough.

Yippe ki yay.

So far we've ordered Thai twice this week.

 We have also found lots of substitutes that we enjoy,

such as homemade almond milk (so good!) and coconut oil.

We substitute coconut oil or olive in a lot of recipes that call for butter

and we are also growing our repertoire of dairy free recipes.

 This has been such a painful and wonderful growing experience.

We had no idea when we first began how much we would have

to change the way we eat,

but I cannot say enough how grateful we are for the way

we have grown and changed which in a run around way 

makes us grateful for the allergy itself.

So, yep, there you go.

My allergy and allergy reactions (and addiction to Thai food!) in a nut shell (:

We are still learning and documenting in order to learn more,

hoping and praying that my body will heal.

xoxo,

lyss

P.S. I feel like the unsung hero here is Husband.

He helps SO MUCH with this and is so very patient with me.

I mean, can you imagine loving and living with someone who this is your life

for the next month if they have the tiniest bit of dairy??

Oy.

Today as I walked in the sunlight with one of my littles

it suddenly hit me that I felt like "me" and I haven't felt like "me"

for a long, long time.

I know who I am at my core,

a daughter of Christ, a wife,

 beloved by both my God and my husband.

But everything else has been fairly shiftable.

I have struggled at my work,

wondering if its me or my employers/clients, or both.

I have been brought to points of needing to make decisions

that decidedly alters my/our life for a season,

and that is hard.

Some roles I thought were mine for asking have been taken away.

Some roles I have never wanted I have been asked to take.

Things I have deeply desire have been witheld.

Many close to me have been hurt and are currently hurting

physically and/or emotionally.

This is not a pity nor an empathy party.

Just an admittance.

Good Friday

I have just gotten home from gathering groceries and dropping Husband off at work

where I will pick him up later and we will go to a service together

before I drop him off to work again.

The home is heavy with the smell of eucalyptus, hydrangeas, and fresh 

strawberries that we found at the market.

The sun is shining warm and brightly and I feel so very much alive. 

My heart is full and I am so very happy and content.

The rest of the day will be filled with preparing our home 

for Easter and reflecting on what Christ has done.

What a very good good friday.

I hope and pray that your day is filled with 

the beauty of preparation and anticipation.

xoxo,

lyss

Good Morning

its such a beautiful morning.

We have our window slightly open and there's such a delightful cold breeze drifting in,

bringing with it the fresh scent of rain and a sense of newness.

Our home smells of lemons and eucalyptus plant,

which really doesn't smell medicinal at all,

more like a flower shop.

I've been elbow deep in lemon cleaner deep cleaning our 

little bathroom while Josh sleeps in.

But right now I'm taking a few moments to sit

and enjoy my coffee and the sound of birds 

back from their journey south.

As I sit here and take in the moment, 

I wish I could stay here for hours.

Quiet,

 peaceful,

 a feeling of renewal,

 and an utter contentment mixed with a desire to move forward.

Praise God for spring and spring break,

it was much needed.

Hope you have a happy Monday,

xoxo,

lyss

I have become a homemaker.

I'm not sure when it happened. I know I wasn't one last year at this time.

Don't get me wrong, I cleaned my house and cared that our home was lovely to the eye.

I have always enjoyed the artistry of homemaking,

Putting this here and that there, what is the best way to arrange the furniture so that

we can move around the room and it is still beautiful?

How can I make this "place" into a home that accurately communicates our beliefs and joys?

I have always enjoyed that aspect.

But I WAS NOT a homemaker. This is a new thing.

The joy of learning new cleaning tricks, an itch to organize, 

and this craftiness that has come out.

I made dryer balls out of yarn.

And I like them better than my beloved vanilla lavender dryer sheets.

This is weird.

We cleaned our windows last weekend because I wondered

 how much the dirt was blocking the light (yeah, I know. gross)

 and all of the sudden I was eager for spring cleaning.

As in I've been thinking about it all week.

As in I've been making lists and planning to wipe down walls, clean the mattresses,

clean UNDER the fridge, and on and on.

I am SO not kidding.

Who is this person?!? 

It's kind of exciting,
 honing my skill of caring for the home,

and its kind of weird at the same time.

Am I just behind the ball on this?

Does everyone else go through this their first year of marriage and 

I just wait till I'm almost on my THIRD?
Oh well (:

Spring cleaning here we go!

xoxo,
lyss

some days...

 ... are weird days.

As in really weird. As in from the moment I wake up nothing feels quite right 

and I'm not quite sure what to do about it.

There's this quiet melancholy that settles in my being and is 

content to stay the whole day through. 

Do you ever have days like that?

(You do? Oh good, I'm so glad I'm not the only one!)

On these days I've developed some habits to help

me enjoy the day.

1. Delight in the moment for God has given it and hence it is good

2. Drink an extra cup of coffee

3.Wear a favorite pretty dress

4. Listen to something inspiring

(this is usually the The Civil Wars)

5. Include things that I enjoy in the to do list for the day

These do not make the melancholy go away but it does help me to see and enjoy the day for what it is.

 And this dress?

Pretty much my dream dress since I was 6 years old and my Mama read me 

Little House On The Prairie for the first time.

Husband found it in a Salvation Army rummage sale,

bet you didn't know the Salvation Army had rummage sales did you? (;

Since we're talking about Husband (like how I snuck that in?) prayers, kisses,

and cuddles from Husband ALWAYS help.

xoxo,

lyss

Working...

Since the day after we started courting Husband has been talking about a dream to work together, him and I. Although our skills sets are polar opposites, that dream is always in the back of our heads. A couple days ago I had a morning off and Husband invited me to come clean a job site while he worked with the contractors. He promised there would be coffee, so I put my hair up and came along. It was fun to work somewhat alongside each other and to dream of a day we might get to do it for "reals". 

My, how I love this man (:

xoxo,

lyss

P.S. Happy August! Can you believe its here already?! Yeah, we're so not ready for it to be August already....

The Pursuit Of Simplicity and The Beauty Found Therein

At the beginning of each year Husband and I talk a little bit about our vision for the next year and this year the heart beat that Husband heard me continually expressing was the desire for simplicity in our home.
We found that each thing we have in our home is an investment of our time and limited space. And that many of the "things" we were investing in were not worth the investment.

Our last apartment was rather spacious (and light filled. I really miss all those beautiful windows!) and so we expanded to that space.
(There is seriously so much great either free or ridiculously cheap stuff in Chicago!)
However, when we decided to move to a smaller space for varying reasons I was overwhelmed and honestly embarrassed by much we had I had. I was shamed to look at how much stuff I had and that I knew I probably didn't use half of it on a regular basis. Then God began to delve in my heart as to WHY I felt the need to accumulate so much. And my sins of distrust of God's providence, discontent with my physical image, and laziness in being a good steward, were graciously revealed.

Since then I have been slowly and joyfully each month setting aside time to sort through and either sell or get rid of the unneeded. And it has been truly been such a joy! Almost similar to weights being lifted off as each thing I was keeping "in case I might need it one day" or an article of clothing I had "so that I would look like that one girl" has left Husband's and I's home.

I know I have caused Husband to panic a time or two and I have heard him say "are you SURE you want to get rid of that?" more than once (:
but he has been so gracious in this beautiful season of growing in contentment and simplicity that God is bringing me through.

My heart rejoices in the salvation of Christ and that I do not need that I do not need to prove anything to please His heart! This is just one of the many ways God is revealing that in the way I live I do not believe this truth and choose to put on another identity than the one God has given me through Christ.




I'm going through our books next, so if you're coming through Chi-town and want some books feel free to stop by (;

xoxo,

lyss

Summer

It has been crazy hot around here lately! 

Most of us spend our days inside hiding from the rays of heat and trying to find ways to out smart our way too warm bodies. I am so grateful for our little air conditioning unit! That little thing has done wonders this summer. Our little abode is always fairly cool and welcoming and that is such a blessing to come home to.The seasons here always do a number on me. In the long, long winter I have a hard time remembering what its like to be truly warm and in the summer I can't remember ever being cold! But we're so enjoying the relaxed pace and fun things that come along with the summer sun and heat. Movies in the park, evenings spent dreaming outside, and lots of music and arts festivals. We're in no hurry for summer schedule to end.... although I have found myself day dreaming of the crisp smell of fall and pumpkin picking lately (;

Sometimes...

• Sometimes I put way too much sugar in my coffee 
• Sometimes I forget to shave my legs for many many days and that doesn't stop me from wearing skirts
• Sometimes I just feel weird. I go by Sylvia on those days...
• Sometimes I listen to my favorite song over and over and over again until its not my favorite anymore
• Sometimes I clean my home so its super duper clean. But thats a rare sometimes...
• Sometimes I don't want to talk at all to anyone. Sometimes I can. not. stop. talking.
• Sometimes I feel really happy and think all sorts of big beautiful thoughts. I go by Anne on those days.
• Sometimes I can't bring myself to look anyone on the "L" in the eye. 
• Sometimes I smile at everyone I see
• Sometimes I have to stop myself from telling Husband "I love you SOOOO much" for the gazillionth time. but sometimes I just can't help myself.

                                   

Today...

I woke up with fuzzy brain that hasn't gone away yet and to overcast yucky weather outside. Everything feels off and weird and I just want the day to end so I can start a new one. Yeah, its just one of those days...
But YIPPEE for the WEEKEND!

This weekend we're looking forward to:

~Going to a Rummage sale with a friend. Hope to find lots and lots of goodies (:
~The Farmers Market. Yay! Its finally here!!
~Going to church and worshipping with dear friends
~Hopefully a bike ride together. If the sun ever comes back out...
~Watching the end of HOOK. We've been watching a little bit each night before bed. So fun
~Josh is excited to get the oil changed. I'm looking forward to reading more of Jesus For President while its being changed.

Well, I'm off to make a cup of tea, watch a sad movie, maybe take a walk, and try to enjoy this day for what it is. Even if it is a weird, sad kind of day.

xoxo
lyss

Faith

"We have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
Romans 5:1-5

rolling this over the grooves of my mind this morning.

xoxo,
lyss

Abstaining from Complaining

Well,
 That whole little road trip thing didn't happen because I was in bed sick with strep instead. Not a fair trade off in my book. But husband is a marvelous lover and took me next friday instead and it was perfectly lovely! Sunny, long talks, a nap in the a field.... So wonderful! Until I started feeling really sick and my eye started turning a gruesome shade of dark red and swelling. Urgh. So we come home to look at the eye again and find oozing gunk. OOZING gunk! Urgh, Urgh, URGH! So the next morning we hunt around for a Dr. that will see new patients and ended up at a PCC clinic (they were great! DEFINITELY going there next weekend when I inevitably get sick with ANOTHER strange disease) to find out that I had an eye infection. A VERY contagious eye infection and I was going to be contagious with this VERY contagious eye infection for 2 days.
However, it turned out to be one of the sweetest weekends yet! Lots of cuddling, a little monty python, a little waffle at a diner, LOTS of cleaning and organizing done, AND husband surprised me with a KEYBOARD! A keeeeeyboarrrrrrd! He said he missed hearing me playing and we've already waited way too long. I adore him.
So.... all that to say. I kept quiet a lot this week because I had nothing nice to say only to look back and realize I was either sleeping or cuddling with my marvelous husband. And it was wonderful.

xoxo
Lyss