This makes me smile everytime

Happy New Years Eve (:

xoxo,

lyss

Jealousy

this was written awhile back, as in almost 8 months ago, but stands true today.
this blog's purpose is to share our life and learnings but more often than not I only 
post the lovely for the purpose of focusing on joy and our blessings.
however, this is something that has been very present in my life and thus should be said and shared.

Urg. I hate it. Yet if I were to be very, very honest I would tell you I struggle with it often. I watch others get what my heart has longed for. Things I have yearned for, my "unattainables" that are someone else's obviously very attainable. First my heart hurts. Then the despair comes and the voice inside my head begins "I'm happy for them, really I am but...why not me?" "will this ever happen for me?".  I know God holds no good thing from me, but.... why is He withholding this?

 I try so very very hard and.....

 nothing.

Then comes the truly horrid part. I start despising the person who has what I want. I start tearing them apart, piece by piece. Judging them, hating them, and wishing they didn't have THAT particular blessing that I so want. Then comes the guilt. How could I despise someone over a blessing?? How could I go so low? 

I am so grateful that Christ has paid the price for my despicable sin. That it doesn't come down to me, but to Him. So then I confess my horrible secret sin. That I wanted the "unattainable" more than I loved Him. That I hated a brother or sister because of that idol. That I am despicable.

Then His grace, forgiveness, and love overwhelms my self-ridden heart. Then that jealousy, that ugly, despicable, joy destroying jealousy is conquered by my Heavenly Father. 

And I am free indeed.

For this holiday we decided the game plan 

was to rest and have fun

and we have done just that.

We have cuddled and napped so much,

seriously, I don't think we've gotten this much sleep since we were teenagers (;

It has been so good.

We were quite worn at the end of this semester,

and I feel kind of silly admitting that because there wasn't anything overly hard

in our lives. But the cares and responsibilities of life wore on us and 

we were very tired.

These past couple days of hibernating inside only to go outside when absolutely necessary,

(e.g. to have a snowball fight) have been so good for us in every sense.

I highly recommend a couple days of naps, sea salt caramels and popcorn, and old movies

with your favorite person to anyone ailing (:

xoxo,
lyss

If you're not April feel free to skip this (:

Dear April,

I miss you. A lot. Like the sappy "as I look through these pictures I'm crying" kind of missing you.

And I know about this point you're thinking "geez, Lyssa needs to get some friends". I HAVE a lot of  friends thank you very much, but they DON'T replace you and so I miss you. I know our opinions differ on more than one thing. But as much as we differ and as much as we don't understand each other there is an even deeper understanding and knowing of each other that is so precious to me. 

 I'm sorry I'm not there.

 I'm so sorry I am missing so much by being 955 miles away. I'm sorry that as soon as we started to become close and began the joyful part of being sisters I upped and got married and moved across the country. I'm sorry I missed you learning how to drive and put on makeup and I'm sorry for what I will inevitably miss in the future. I know I was a bossy brat most of the time growing up (and still am at times :)) and I'm sorry for how that came out towards you. I'm sorry I never seem to have the courage or elegance of speech to say all this in person.

I miss you and I wish I was able to be more present in this whole "growing up" thing. Please please know that I love you with all I know how and I adore you.  

Love,

Lyssa

7th & 8th Date of Christmas

For our 7th date of Christmas we went to a candlelight Christmas eve service

and then got some sushi at our special place.
Where I managed to drop a piece of sushi into my fancy plate
of soy sauce and made our waitress laugh,
from across the room.

This was probably my favorite date, but sadly I don't have any pictures to document this.

Which is very sad because Husband looked especially fine that evening 

in his fancy red tie.

Oh well....

For our 8th date of Christmas we went to Wormhole

(have you heard of it? apparently its quite famous)

and enjoyed sitting, sipping our little vanilla latte

and people watching.

There is a dusting of snow everywhere and its making

everyone a little more cheerful and friendly,

which makes for lovely people watching.

Also, I'm not sure if its the holidays or the gray days but I'm

seeing Christmas colors everywhere and on everything 

and I like it (:

xoxo,

lyss

Christmas

Christmast morning at our house was very quiet this year.

We woke late and opened presents from each other

(surprise! Neither of us listened when we said we wouldn't get each other gifts)

and I opened gifts from my secret santa (thanks April ;))

and then as we were getting breakfast ready and bemoaning the fact

that we didn't have any snow I looked out our little kitchen window

and lo and behold it was snowing!

Such a sweet mercy from our knowing and caring God.

We felt so humbled and loved that God gave us such a sweet and fun gift on such a day.

We even checked the weather radar and snow was not called for that day

and the radar was clear, it was definitely NOT supposed to be snowing.

But it was (:

So we went and played in it and skyped family to share the Christmas spirit.

And the Christmas packages from our loved ones came in today,

so our Christmas fun was prolonged a couple days (:

6th Date of Christmas

For our 6th date of Christmas we met some friends at the Christmas Market downtown.

Although we were late and spent more time looking for our friends 

 than looking at the market (:

There were so many people!!

You could hardly see the little booths for all the people pushing and crowding.

Sometimes I think the city may turn me into a anthropophobic (;

Afterwards we shopped a bit with our friends then parted ways to walk downtown.

The air has such a crisp coldness to it and it is delightful to walk 

and feel the slight sting of the wind along with the warmth of being happy.

And somehow home is just that much more delightful when the 

cold and wind blow you in (:

Hope you have a very merry Christmas eve!

xoxo,

lyss

Snapshots

The past couple days have been full of sleeping, movies in bed, 

and Christmas lights in the city.

The Christmas spirit has been slow coming around here.

Don't get me wrong, I KNOW its December 24,

but it sure doesn't feel like Christmas eve!

I've made the Christmas goodies, gone to a Christmas party, 

finished the Christmas shopping,

and have stared at the Christmas lights all over our little home

demanding they do their job and make it feel like Christmas.

But no, it still doesn't.

But I'm so glad that the salvation and joy of Christmas doesn't depend

on whether I feel like its here or not (:

xoxo,

lyss

Quiet

(photo by April)

I love quiet.

Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy crazy hustle bustle as well.

Growing up as the eldest of a rather loud dramatic group of siblings,

I am often most comfortable in the craze.

But I love the quiet still moments.

Like now,

Husband is asleep and I should really wake him up soon

because he has a final paper to finish,

but the quiet is so deliciously lovely I'd hate to break it

by waking him and the grump sure to follow (;

I should acknowledge this specific kind of quiet I so deeply enjoy.

When Husband is NOT here it is an uncomfortable sometimes scary kind of quiet

of being alone,

that I most certainly do not enjoy.

But the quiet when he is here,

the quiet metered by his napping breaths,

is one of the things I love best.

I am not one of those girls who lay and watch their husband sleep,

rather I like to get up and make a cup of coffee as quietly as I can so as not to wake him,

then open my curtains to reveal the morning light,

then I sit and simply enjoy the unfolding of the morning.

I know I will not always have the luxury of these moments 

so I try to stretch them and enjoy them as much as I can now.

I love my life 

  and Husband (:

xoxo,

lyss

Yippee!!!

Christmas presents on their way!!

We were SOOO last minute this year....

ugh, next year I'm starting in August...

(maybe. Who are we kidding, I'll probably do the same thing :P)

So happy to have those out and can't wait to see how you like them (:

Now, to make cookies and other yummies for Husband

as a thank you for all his help! (;

xoxo,

lyss

Our Weekend & 5th Date of Christmas

It was such quiet rainy weekend.
Filled with finishing school papers and Christmas gifts.

For our 5th date of Christmas we went and saw some little friends dance

in the Nutcracker.

(It was Husband's first time to see it!)

I think I awwwed and wistfully smiled the whole time,

little girls in tutu's are just too much!

Especially when its our own little friends who we have watched

practice, practice, practice 

and then perform beautifully.

It was perfect (:

xoxo,

lyss

P.S.
Our hearts were (and are) heavy for the families of Newton, CT.
We sat in shock as we tearfully watched the news feed friday afternoon.
Much has been said and we have nothing to add except that
our hearts and prayers go out for those poor families, the town,
and the man who committed this heinous thing.
We pray salvation is found within the pain.