Thursday, January 29, 2015


I tried to write a year synopsis.
I tried really REALLY hard.
But I was at over 100 pictures and still 
missing so many vital parts of the year,
so I stopped.

This year was so rich and intense.
Even now I want to list out what made it so
and I just cannot condense the joy of this year to a list,
try as I might.

 So instead I'll tell you about the gifts for Little One.

For years I've been setting little things aside 
for when our babies came.
Little onesies and things you know.
But the babies didn't come... and didn't come.
So I stopped collecting things and put what I had away.

In one of the early days when we were just really struggling
with the conflict between the joy that I was carrying a miracle
to the pain that we may only have today with this sweet baby,
the weight of that conflict found us weeping in prayer.
Praising and thanking our Father for the privilege
of loving this child and asking that if it be His will,
may we have another day and please may we have many many days?

As we were praying I felt Josh get up and leave the room.
He came back with all our little things for our dream babies
and he began wrapping them.
One by one.
Carefully folding the little clothes in the paper and then wrapping it with string.
His tears staining the paper as he continued to pray
for the child we hoped would wear these little gifts one day.
And then writing on the top;

To Little One


Mama and Papa

Until each and every little gift of hope was wrapped up.
We set the gifts in a basket
to be opened on Little One's birthday.
Whether that meant a birthday here or a birthday in heaven,
we would rejoice in the gift that God had given.

And we wept over those little gifts again.
On the day we opened them with Jedidiah.

Jedidiah // 4 1/2 months

He's had so many sweet firsts the past month and a half.
His first belly laugh, calling me "Mama", first Christmas,
first roadtrip, meeting grandparents and great grandparents,
and first tooth! (still working on that one)

He's become so attentive to the people around him,
listening and reacting when someone is speaking
and charming everyone he meets (;

As I've said before, this kid LOVES to move!
Especially in the Johnny Jumper that Papa made him for Christmas.
We have so much fun watching him jump, twirl, and walk then swing himself.
He's alllllmost sitting by himself and enjoys standing with help from Josh or I.

And the chatter! 
Sweet boy chatters with me all. day. long.
He especially enjoys what seems to be telling stories,
usually right after we've been out adventuring.
He's so passionate and intense.
Its really cute (:

I know I say this every month,
but days with this boy just get sweeter and sweeter.
We love him so very much.