Dear Little One// 32 weeks

Hello Little One,

Oy vey. This has been a week.

You seem to be very frustrated and wiggle and worm and push your little bum

for more room that just isn't there.

 And sleep?

Who sleeps??

Ugh.

We're almost there little ninja, we're so so close.

I know you're getting tired of the constriction of being there

but you need to grow just a bit more

before you come out here.

So stay inside just a couple weeks (at least)

more and when you come out we'll party hard 

and you'll hardly remember these days.

But I will cherish them for the rest of my life

and I'm sure recount them to you over and over,

for you are so very precious to me and Papa

and we can still hardly grasp the sweet truth that you are here

and very nearly HERE here.

We are so happy Little One,

so very very happy.

Your Papa practically glows with the joy of you (:

Just a little bit longer,

xoxo,

Mama

Dear Little One// 31 weeks

Dear Little One,

It looks like you and I may be a bit farther along than we thought!

We're currently measuring 34 weeks, so you may come a little sooner 

than the midwives were planning

(but you and I knew this all along didn't we? ;))

And I am very glad, for sweet Little One

I am so so tired.

I am so loving and cherishing this season of us being together

and wouldn't trade it for a thousand nights of more than a couple hours sleep.

But I am tired, much more tired than I thought I would be at this stage.

I find myself longing for the soon to come days 

where sleepless nights meaning caring for and cuddling you

instead of counting the hours till the morning light.

You stopped kicking sometime last week

and now move in more "grunting" movements,

so I think you are running out of space in there.

Sorry about that buddy...

Can't wait till you're out here and cuddled close to us!

xoxo,

Mama

Dear Little One// 30 weeks

30 weeks!!

Look at us little man!

I am so so proud of us and that we've made it this far,

it feels like such a major milestone and I am so so happy.

You're definitely growing and stretching out

which includes getting your foot stuck in my ribcage every so often :P

In other news, we passed the dreaded glucose test with flying colors!
Neither you or I are sleeping much at night these days,
not much meaning really not at all....
but I think its my body preparing for the days when you are here
on the outside and that makes me so happy and excited.
It is so beautiful to me how God creates my body to sustain
you both during pregancy and after you are here
and that my body naturally prepares for that.
But maybe lets stop kicking my ribs quite so much at 3 am huh?

I love you so very much Little One,

xoxo,
Mama

Today I am grateful for a quiet peaceful home.

I am tired.

It was not a hard day necessarily, it was a delight.

But my muscles are tired from a sleepless night,

my emotions are rather taught from loving emotionally needy boys,

and my body is tired from the journey home that was

much more adventurous and much much longer that I thought it should have been.

I was so grateful to walk in the door to quietness,

to shower off the grime of the city without a timeframe,

and to scrub my body with lavender and feel my muscles slowly relax

without anyone saying my name or needing my attention.

Many days I have come home to be tortured by that same quietness.

It seemed to relish in harshly reminding me of what wasn't here.

No pitter patter of little feet.

No voices telling stories of the day.

No need for cuddles or my rapt attention.

Just quiet.

Always quiet.

I would turn on music and pick up the home

while biding time till Husband got home,

or I would go to the neighbors house to be bombarded

by hugs and questions by little friends and hear the adventures of their day.

But the quiet would be waiting when I came back.

I was so grateful for this home of ours.

I truly was.

Grateful for the way God has blessed us with such a peace filled home.

A place filled with little things that told the story of us,

a place of beauty and joy.

But some days the quietness was sort of personal torture chamber

with no end and I battled through it, fighting to remember

that God loves me with an everlasting love and this was and is His good towards me.

All while the quietness seemed to mock me and my pain.

And other days I would sit and miraculously enjoy the quietness

and the grace that God gave in those days in giving contentment and joy.

But today as I walked in and quietly thanked God for His mercy in giving me rest and quiet,

it stood in stark contrast with previous days and made me want to weep from joy.

For I know that days are coming when all my moments 

will be consumed by a little ninja and these quiet moments will be but a memory.

Not that there will not be quiet times,

I actually believe that it is very important to sit in quiet

and I look forward to teaching Little One this joyful discipline,

but I am also aware that it will be quite different (:

But I did not want to weep for joy that those days are gone,

but rather that those days were.

That God saw fit to painfully walk me through the quiet.

Through the peaceful quiet and the battlefield quiet

He loved me and brought me to know Him in the quiet

in a way that astounds and humbles me.

"Season by season,

I watch Him amazed,

in awe of the mystery

of His perfect ways"

~Sara Groves

I am loved with an everlasting love

that goes deeper than any man can understand and any words could ever tell.

And I am so so grateful.

Today I'm Extra Grateful For

• my baby bump and the baby inside that just keeps growing 
• bus drivers who wait till I sit down to start driving
• coffee shop friends and barista's who remember my favorite drink
• concerts on the lawn
• little man cuddles
• love texts from husband throughout the day
• soy vanilla lattes 
• sunlight
• elderly ladies who kick young me out of their seats so I can sit down
• jeans that still fit
• reminder phone call from the Dr. 
• lavender bath scrub
• drop in humidity
• texts from my favorite aunt
• sweet congratulations from strangers 

A Summer Vacation

We had grand plans to travel for vacation, but this fell through and that fell through

and Monday night found us saying "you know, it might be really nice to just stay here...."

so staycation it was!

And it was glorious.

Full of good food, concerts, long naps, sunny days, and all sorts of touristy things

we usually avoid because of cost/time.

Summer in the city really is the best and from farmers markets,

to the many concerts in the park, to late night dinners outside under the stars,

we cherished these moments of enjoying our city

while daydreaming of sharing the joy of summer with little one next year.

Such a sweet, restful week.

Dear Little One // 29 weeks

My Sweet Little One,

This has been a week of growing.

I can feel you moving almost constantly, pushing and stretching for more room.

My body is straining to keep up with you

and many days this week I felt very tired and worn,

but so so grateful to feel you so alive and well within

me that it made the tired eyes and achey muscles so very worth it.

We've taken you to many outdoor concerts but the other night

we took you to hear The Oh Hello's at an indoor venue

and my goodness child, you moved as I have never felt you move before!!

You seemed to love it and "danced" almost the whole 2 1/2 hours we were there.

You also seem to like Jazz, for whenever we got to a jazz concert

I feel you moving in the most gentle rhythmic manner.

It took me a couple times to realize that I think you are swaying.

You have good taste (;

I love you.

xoxo,

Mama

Dear Little One // week 28

My Dearest Little One,

The morning is early and everyone is asleep,

but you were eager for us to wake and be up and so we are,

up and baking breakfast cake while watching the sun grow brighter and brighter outside.

I'm writing this letter a bit late,

seeing as how you turn 29 weeks tomorrow :P

but we had quite the full week!

We stayed with the Nyquists again

 (Ethan loved to comment on your growth each morning :))

and you met the Kizzee's!

We wandered the city with them and they thought you were the cutest thing.

You have a lot of people who think quite a lot of you already,

you are one blessed little fella.

Also,

you seem to be quite the jazz fan.

We've gone to several jazz concerts lately and I feel you 

moving in such a gentle rhythmic manner while we're there.

You seem to especially like the trumpet,

which will make your Grandpa very happy (;

You and I are doing so much better this week.

I started drinking loads and loads of water and we finally kicked that stupid cold's butt

(no, you may not say stupid. that's a grown up word. maybe when you're 7)

We've had such fun little adventures this week from playing at millennium park

with the boys to bumpy bus rides (you LOVE the bus) to girls night fun.

I so enjoy always having you with me my little one.

Can't wait to have more adventures with you (:

xoxo,

Mama

A week of summer

from splash pads, to this park and that, to playing 

tourist with the Kizzee's, and celebrating freedom,

it has been such a fun full week.

I love summer in the city.