I've been thinking a lot about those newborn days.

Maybe because my baby is a wiggling, curious, constantly loving

crazy blur that I can't believe is still considered a "baby"

compared to the tiny thing we brought home from the hospital.

Maybe because this sweet baby boy of mine is growing and learning

so fast I feel as if I can visibly see it happening each moment of the day.

Maybe because my body aches from sweet boy's strong wiggles and squirms

and reminds me of the last days of pregnancy and the first days and weeks 

of life with Jedidiah, when I was vaguely aware of the tenderness

of my worn body but the joy of his presence overwhelmed any other sense.

Maybe I've been thinking about the first days because 

I am so keenly aware of how we are shifting into a different season.

Maybe because I'm watching my baby become a boy before my eyes.

When he grabs my cheek to "kiss" me, when he calls for me, 

for me to cuddle or soothe or simply to see my face in which he seems to delight so much.

This bright blue eyed little being who has a special smile just for me,

who saves his kisses just for me,

and wants to talk to me all about everything all day.

My baby who's just a breathe away from walking, from exploring with me 

to inviting me on his adventures, and to adventuring on his own.

And then 

(true story)

Jedidiah has a huge blowout in my lap

as I'm typing this and I think 

"eh, these baby days aren't going THAT fast"

So here's to enjoying the days we're given,

poop and snuggles and all (;

xoxo,

lyss

Bee bo!

and the cutest little smile (;

2014

I tried to write a year synopsis.

I tried really REALLY hard.

But I was at over 100 pictures and still 

missing so many vital parts of the year,

so I stopped.

This year was so rich and intense.

Even now I want to list out what made it so

and I just cannot condense the joy of this year to a list,

try as I might.

 So instead I'll tell you about the gifts for Little One.

For years I've been setting little things aside 

for when our babies came.

Little onesies and things you know.

But the babies didn't come... and didn't come.

So I stopped collecting things and put what I had away.

In one of the early days when we were just really struggling

with the conflict between the joy that I was carrying a miracle

to the pain that we may only have today with this sweet baby,

the weight of that conflict found us weeping in prayer.

Praising and thanking our Father for the privilege

of loving this child and asking that if it be His will,

may we have another day and please may we have many many days?

As we were praying I felt Josh get up and leave the room.

He came back with all our little things for our dream babies

and he began wrapping them.

One by one.

Carefully folding the little clothes in the paper and then wrapping it with string.

His tears staining the paper as he continued to pray

for the child we hoped would wear these little gifts one day.

And then writing on the top;

To Little One

love,

Mama and Papa

Until each and every little gift of hope was wrapped up.

We set the gifts in a basket

to be opened on Little One's birthday.

Whether that meant a birthday here or a birthday in heaven,

we would rejoice in the gift that God had given.

And we wept over those little gifts again.

On the day we opened them with Jedidiah.

Jedidiah // 4 1/2 months

He's had so many sweet firsts the past month and a half.

His first belly laugh, calling me "Mama", first Christmas,

first roadtrip, meeting grandparents and great grandparents,

and first tooth! (still working on that one)

He's become so attentive to the people around him,

listening and reacting when someone is speaking

and charming everyone he meets (;

As I've said before, this kid LOVES to move!

Especially in the Johnny Jumper that Papa made him for Christmas.

We have so much fun watching him jump, twirl, and walk then swing himself.

He's alllllmost sitting by himself and enjoys standing with help from Josh or I.

And the chatter! 

Sweet boy chatters with me all. day. long.

He especially enjoys what seems to be telling stories,

usually right after we've been out adventuring.

He's so passionate and intense.

Its really cute (:

I know I say this every month,

but days with this boy just get sweeter and sweeter.

We love him so very much.

Jedidiah // 3 months

At 3 months this little chunker is generally the happiest guy.

Full of coos and chatter and smiles and constant movement.

Loves to converse about everything and daydreams about

seeing auntie Penny's ceiling fan again.

Not the biggest fan of bright colors or moving things,

unless its Mama's hair.

My goodness we love this roly poly.

Jedidiah // 10 weeks

Full of coos and smiles.

And snuggles.

And pre-naptime/bedtime chats.

And fantastic pooping faces.

And finally fitting into cute baby clothes

And multiplying chunk rolls.

And. And. And......

Man, 10 weeks is where its at.